She bought him a boat

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo out and about in Hollywood (4/11)

Jessica Simpson is great at gift-giving. She bought her boyfriend Tony Romo a freaking boat. Dammit, I knew I shouldn’t have spurned her advances last year! From the National Enquirer via the San Francisco Chronicle:

Jessica Simpson gave boyfriend Tony Romo a nautical 28th birthday last month — she treated the football star to a $100,000 speedboat. The singer unveiled the gift at a special party at the pair’s Dallas, Texas, home, reports the National Enquirer. And the Dallas Cowboys quarterback was delighted with the custom-made gift.

A source tells the tabloid, “Jessica knows that Tony has always wanted a boat. (She’s) hoping that her birthday gift will lead to marriage, and by this time next year she’ll be walking down the aisle with him.”

Giving a guy an unexpected present is all it takes to get him to walk you down the aisle? Tell that to Jamie Lynn Spears’ uterus. Obviously Jessica hasn’t learned the most valuable lesson there is about relationships: you can’t buy a man’s love, you have to earn it . . . with BJs. Lots and lots of BJs. The second most important lesson: shhhhhhhhhhh.

[Pacific Coast News, WENN]

June 5, 2009 - 7:00 am