It was the alcohol

Jessica Simpson leaving Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood (8/1)

It’s been scientifically proven that only good things happen when chicks with huge tits drink too much. I guess Tony Romo fucking hates science. From Fox News:

Romantic relations between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo appear to be absolutely done and dusted, but according to insiders, the surprise break-up was largely a result of peer pressure from Romo’s pals and Jess’s love of adult beverages.

“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”

We’re also told that the Dallas Cowboy really did love the pop princess and “fought for her” with his skeptical friends, but in the end, it got to a point where it just didn’t make sense for him to stay in the relationship.

When you have tits like Jessica, that’s basically a “get out of jail free” card when it comes to doing stupid things in a relationship. Wrecked my car? No big deal. Broke my TV? Meh, it was only 60 inches. Lost my dog? I’ll just get another one. I can’t believe she still somehow fucked this up. I think the conclusion here is a pretty obvious one: Tony Romo hates hot tits. I knew it. I never trusted that dude.

[Flynet, WENN, Mavrixonline]

August 14, 2009 - 3:15 pm