So about this Tiger thing

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren leaving a gym in Miami in 2007

I’m sure you’ve heard by now that there was some drama at the Woods household early Friday morning. To make a long story short, Tiger’s wife Elin went nuts after reading this National Enquirer report that Tiger allegedly cheated on her with “New York city party girl” Rachel Uchitel. She scratched Tiger’s face up, he attempted to flee in his Escalade, Elin gave chase with a golf club smashing up the Escalade, and then Tiger hit a fire hydrant and tree. And then Boss Hogg tried to set up a road block, but them Duke Boys jumped right over it. Right over it! The end. Now for the ridiculousness. Windermere, FL, police chief Daniel Saylor (who must be really close friends with Tiger; that or he’s a moron) offers up this explanation for the golf club damage on the Escalade:

“When [Windermere police] got there, he was laying in the street,” Saylor told PEOPLE. “His wife had broken out the back window with a golf club to get into the vehicle and pull him out.”

Saylor did not know how Nordegren managed to pull her husband out, but she was determined to do so. “She used two golf clubs,” Saylor says. “She bent one and used another one.”

You heard that right. The 125-pound Swedish model smashed through the back window of the Escalade and pulled her 200-pound husband to safety. This despite the fact the Escalade has doors. And they still worked after the accident (see pics here, here, and here).

Of course Tiger’s backing up the story on his website. He posted this statement yesterday:

This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

If you believe Tiger’s version of the events, the obvious question is why was he racing out of his house at 2:30 in the morning? Answer: $9.99 Performance Fleece Pullovers at Old Navy. Tiger would be crazy to pass up such a deal. Clearly he was trying to beat the rush of all the other Black Friday shoppers.


November 30, 2009 - 8:00 am