No freaking way this happened
Lindsay Lohan at JFK airport in New York (12/1)
With Tiger Woods and his gaggle of whores (or is it ‘flock’?) dominating the headlines this week, it’s easy to forget that other celebrities are cheating on their wives, too. Like Jessica Alba’s husband Cash Warren. With Lindsay Lohan. Wait, what? The Mirror hinted at it earlier this week and Us Weekly has the full story today:
There were barely any celebrities at West Hollywood hotspot Villa the night of November 19 — which might be why Lindsay Lohan and Cash Warren immediately gravitated towards one another.
Film producer Warren, 30, was partying without Jessica Alba, his wife of one and half years and mom to his daughter Honor, 18 months. “When he goes out with friends, he gets into trouble,” a pal says of Alba’s husband in the new issue of Us Weekly.
Indeed. Soon after discovering one another at Villa, Warren and Lohan “ignored friends and just chatted.” The real trouble began half an hour in. “Lindsay and Cash started making out,” an onlooker tells Us.
“Lip on tongue,” the eyewitness continues, “It was raw. They were not shy!”
Another Villa patron that night gasped, “It was a shock to see the two of them kiss, but it was real.”
What guy in his right mind would hook up with Lindsay Lohan
when he has this ass at home? That’s like choosing a ’92 Dodge Neon
over a 2010 Bugatti Veyron. The only conceivable reason for why Cash would
make out with Lindsay is that he either lost a bet or he was curious to
find out what a combination of scurvy and Sam Ronson’s vagina tasted
like. A lot like chicken, I’ve heard.
UPDATE: Lindsay issued a statement to E!, denying the hookup:
“Cash Warren is a BUSINESS partner, nothing more, nothing
less. And I have NO interest in anything but focusing on my
career/work, as well as my family, and getting everyone holiday gifts!
“Business partner”? “Focusing on my career/work”? Lindsay really thinks
we’ll believe that? She might has well have said that she couldn’t have
made out with Cash that night because she was on the moon.