Simon Cowell is in love

Simon Cowell and Mezhgan Hussainy out and about in Beverly Hills (2/19)

Even though he’s on a first-penis basis with half the nine and tens in Hollwyood, Simon Cowell is actually thinking about getting married to his new girlfriend Mezhgan Hussainy. No, Simon. NOOO!!! From the New York Daily News:

Simon Cowell’s mother Julie has been speaking about her joy for her son’s new found love with Afghanistan-born make-up artist Mezhgan Hussainy. Speaking from her Brightonhome, she said:  “I knew it was serious when Simon said he had something important to tell me” reveals Julie, 84. “I asked if it was good or bad and he replies, ‘That depends which way you look at it.’ ‘Just tell me,’ I said. He explained that he had asked Mezhgan to move in with him. Although girlfriends had stayed with him in the past, he had never done that before. This seems to make it official.”

“What baffled me most was the complete turnaround in my son,” she continues. “He has always insisted, ‘I’m fine as I am, mother. I’m not going to get committed to a marriage and I certainly don’t want children.’ I used to reply, ‘You don’t know, you’ve never had them.’”

But it seems that Julie couldn’t be happier for her son “Now I really think marriage and fatherhood for Simon are going to happen. I would like to see an official engagement, a marriage and yes, then grandchildren. Mezghan is very family orientated, so she is ideal for him” Julie continues.

Can you imagine being married to Simon Cowell? Every day would be filled with nonstop criticisms of your cooking, cleaning, and size of your penis. Frankly, any woman that’s willing to put up with that pompous ass should be granted immediate Sainthood . . . and a full bottle of barbituates to quickly put her out of her misery. Let’s just hope Mezhgan has what it takes to make this relationship last: 2-dozen XXS t-shirts for when Simon runs out.


February 25, 2010 - 9:00 am