Shocking news about Richard Simmons

Richard Simmons is gay? GTFOOH!

The National Enquirer is breaking the news that notorious lothario Richard Simmons may actually be gay. I know, right? Did not see that one coming. I may have to reevaluate my entire life after this shocking revelation. I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore. From the tabloid:

“SHHH! We’ll have to be quiet. My mother ‘s asleep upstairs.” That’s what a gay escort claims flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons whispered when he came to Simmons’ TinselTown home in the mid-’80s for paid sex! And it’s just one of the incredible anecdotes in former porn star Bruce Headrick’s steamy unpublished memoir: “Tell Secrets, Tell No Lies,” about his days as a gay hustler to the stars.

Now 48 and living in Las Vegas, Headrick tells The Enquirer that his first tryst with Simmons was in 1986 when his then-agent sent him to the West Hollywood home of the “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” star. “My agent repped many male porno stars and also booked them as escorts. He arranged for me to meet with Richard five or six times.” said Headrick, whose porn name was Blake McDonald. “The first time, Richard answered the door in his signature tank top and curly frizzed-out hair. He quickly put a finger to his lips and whispered, ‘Shhh! We’ll have to be quiet. My mother’s asleep upstairs.’ “Richard’s mother was living with him at the time, and didn’t want her to find out what or who he was up to.” (Print Edition – 6/21)

Is anyone surprised that Richard Simmons had to pay for gay sex? The guy looks like the illegitimate love child of Rosie O’Donnell and a Chia Pet. If I saw him on the street, I wouldn’t know whether to get his autograph or water him. What I really want to know is when Richard and this porn star were getting it on, did he pop in a Jerry Lee Lewis CD for mood music? Nothing gets me in the mood to blow another guy better than “Great Balls of Fire.”


June 24, 2010 - 1:00 pm