Jessica’s new guy is using her

Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson

Next stop for Jessica: Lesbianism! Or a hookup with Chaz Bono. That seems like a nice trade-off. The point I’m trying to make here is that she needs to quit men. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Friends of Jessica Simpson apparently are splitting into two camps regarding the singer’s new beau, ex-NFL tight end Eric Johnson. In talking to two longtime Simpson pals, I hear worries about the Yale grad’s ulterior motives when it comes to their friend.

“I don’t care if he’s so smart and all that, I get the sense he’s more interested in people knowing he’s dating Jessica Simpson — rather than truly caring about Jess herself and her needs,” said one source.

Another Simpson intimate insists Johnson is a “fame whore … the kind of guy who is really into dating famous women. I think it’s a little suspicious that Eric dropped out of Wharton [Business School, where he’s been pursuing an MBA program] just to be with Jessica. … It just doesn’t add up.”

That’s just wrong to assume that Eric’s only interested in Jessica’s fame — I’m sure he’s interested in her tits too. If you consider the fact that he has a degree from Yale and she’s still learning the alphabet, you’re probably wondering to yourself: “What do these two talk about?” Then again, if you’re wondering that, a better question to ask yourself might be: “When did I become gay?” I mean seriously, with tits like hers, who the hell would want to actually talk to Jessica Simpson?


August 6, 2010 - 6:30 am