Snooki’s boyfriend is high as a motherf*cker

Snooki and Jionni LaValle in Honolulu in March

Note to Jionni LaValle: It’s bad enough that you’re dating Snooki, but dude, don’t make it permanent (hint: women don’t usually get skinnier and prettier as they get older). Nevertheless, the New York Post says:

Snooki’s equally pint-sized boyfriend, Jionni LaValle, told us he’s looking forward to a marriage with the “Jersey Shore” star. “She’s a good girl,” he told us at the YRB magazine cover party for the “Jersey Shore” girls at District 36, where the two celebrated their 10-month anniversary of dating.

When asked if marriage was in the future, he said, “Hopefully.” If the two decide to have babies, LaValle said he wouldn’t allow them on a reality TV show but added, “She probably would.”

Of course Jionni is looking to get married to Snooki — with all of the diseases he’s probably contracted from her, he really doesn’t have that many other options. And can you imagine what kind of kids these two overtanned midgets would produce? Forget Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, Snooki’s uterus would turn into the real Oompa Loompa breeding ground.



August 19, 2011 - 6:30 am