Snooki’s new perfume is a “must have” holiday gift

If only the perfume came in a bigger bottle

Someone at the Home Shopping Network must have an awesome sense of humor because Snooki’s getting a 2-hour primetime special on the channel next month to sell her new perfume and other assorted crap that literally hundreds of thousands of people are going to buy to give away as a gag gift. Seriously, she’s fucking brilliant. She’s gonna make millions off this. From UPI:

HSN is betting Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s signature fragrance will be a “must have” holiday gift, giving her a two-hour prime time slot to debut the new scent.

“The Jersey Shore” reality TV star known for her trademark indoor tan will launch the perfume “Snooki” along with a product line that includes handbags, slippers, sunglasses and her beloved stuffed animal “Crocodilly,” on Nov. 10 on HSN.

“A Very Snooki Holiday Gift Special” will air from 8 to 10 p.m. EST, the shopping network said Wednesday in a release.

What is this perfume supposed to smell like? Vomit? Desperation? No, there’s a simple 3 step process you can follow to get the same fragrance as Snooki without having to pay for it. Step 1: lick the inside of a dirty ashtray. Step 2: roll around in feces. Step 3: repeat steps 1 and 2 every ten minutes. Frankly, what Snooki should really be promoting is a miracle elixir designed to prevent you from smelling like her — called “soap.”

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October 28, 2011 - 9:15 am