Jionni LaValle just can’t get enough of Snooki’s kooka

Snooki and Jionni LaValle leaving their hotel in Miami (12/6)

I’m assuming this is one of those situations where now that Jionni has the Snooki stink on him, no woman wants to even be in the same zip code as him — let alone have sex with him — so he was forced to crawl back to her. From Us Weekly:

After a roller-coaster year of make-ups and breakups, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jionni LaValle are on a high. So much so that the pint-sized Jersey Shore star, 24, “wants to marry Jionni,’ says a Snooki pal. “She’s always saying to friends that they’re getting married someday. You can tell they really love each other.” And while the aspiring teacher has yet to pop the question, a second source confirms “she would say yes” if he did. “She loves that Jionni obsesses over her,” adds the source. “He supports her career, travels with her and accepts her – the good and the bad.” And yes, the drama-prone pair did recently split again, but the pal says “they only broke up for, like, 30 seconds.” With the breakup already ancient history, costar Deena Cortese tells Us: “They’re doing awesome.” (Print Edition – 12/19)

Before you pass judgement, let me just say that I’m as patriotic as
anyone here. Hell, I’d dare to say that I love my country more than most
of you love your mothers, but I think we’ve come to an impasse in
regard to the State of New Jersey. I don’t appreciate the colossal dump
that the Garden State has been pinching into America’s consciousness for
the last few years. Sure, New Jersey has given us the greatness of
Frank Sinatra and the Camden Riversharks, but it’s also given us the
scourge that is the cast of Jersey Shore. Snooki is banging– oh,
who gives a shit. I’m putting an end to this nonsense. It’s time for a
fourth Continental Congress. We need a decision once and for all on what
to do with NJ. I suggest it be treated like an aggressive rouge state
and its citizens like enemy combatants. Snooki, JWoww, Uncle Nino,
Sleepy, Stupid, and the rest of them should be given accommodations down
in Guantanamo Bay (it’s not as if Obama closed it). The next time I see
the word “Snooki” I want it to be immediately followed with “felt the
crack of a border patrol agent’s nightstick . . .”

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[Pacific Coast News]

December 28, 2011 - 6:30 am