Mrs. Jennifer Theroux-Aniston?

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux in New York (10/9)

C’mon, you just know this bitch is gonna emasculate her husband by hyphenating her last name if she ever gets married again. The only thing I’m more sure of is that the Sun is going to rise tomorrow morning. From Star:

“Justin [Therouex] and [Jennifer’s dad John] got along great from the moment they met,” a source tells Star. “John feels that Justin has been wonderful for his daughter and say’s he’s never seen Jen happier. John would love nothing more than to see them walk down the aisle. He’s told Justin he’s willing to do whatever he can to help … Justin is planning to ask for John’s blessing this Christmas. He believes that with Johns’ blessing, he will finally be able to convince Jen to accept his proposal.”

“It’s not that Jen isn’t madly and passionately in love with Justin,” the source explains. “It’s just that she was so burned before, she has trouble trusting men. She would be ecstatic to marry Justin and start a family. If John’s on board, she’s just more likely to say yes!” (Print Edition – 12/12)

This Justin Theroux sounds like a solid dude. Why not try to make Aniston a respectable woman? He’s even going old school with the whole “get the old man’s permission” horse shit. It reminds me of how nice the car dealer was last year even though I was buying an ’81 Buick Skylark. Justin’s putting way too much work in for someone that’s been proverbially chewed up and spit out in life. And it won’t work in the end, sorry to say. Jennifer Aniston needs what the Kardashian sisters can’t get enough of, but would shame the family to ask for. Oh yeah, I know you ladies know what I’m talking about, right? I’m talking about more exposure to 15-20 year old females. They’re the ones with the real power to boost ratings/box office numbers . . . wait, what did you think I was gonna say? Black cock? Wow, you are super racist.


December 19, 2011 - 8:00 am