Demi Moore is full of sh*t

Demi Moore is full of shit

Demi Moore is trying to spin her breakdown as a good thing because it will allow her to grow as a person. Hey, here’s an idea if you want to grow as a person. STOP DOING WHIPPETS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT 15. A source told People:

“Ego-wise, this is the worst thing that could happen to Demi, because she’s such a private person. She’s embarrassed.”

But Kabbalah, the form of Jewish mysticism that Moore has long studied, instructs that adversity can ultimately prove beneficial, according to an insider. Moore’s troubles “can be an opportunity, a blessing, and not a curse,” says the insider. “The right intervention happened in her life. From a spiritual sense, it is a gift. She has a real opportunity to grow from it. She has to take responsibility for her life.”

If Kabbalah teachings are correct, Demi Moore’s comeback is gonna be epic. If we at Celebslam are right, Demi will be headlining the next season of Celebrity Rehab, crying in Dr. Drew’s arms and offering to blow him if he just lets her out “for a few hours.” Now given our track record, which horse are you laying your money down on? What’s Kabbalah gonna do for Demi, anyways? Sure they have some dumb spells, but hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. And by blaster, I mean poppers. Demi knows the only peace of mind she’ll find can only come from the sweet sweet release of a whipped cream can shooting nitrous into her nasal passages.


February 3, 2012 - 9:15 am