Jennifer Love Hewitt is still all uptight

Jennifer Love Hewitt on the set of The Client List at Universal City Walk (4/3)

Even though she’s not getting any younger and her hips are definitely not getting any smaller, Jennifer Love Hewitt is still being all uptight about going nude onscreen. C’mon Jennifer, you’re an actress. You’re not supposed to have morals. From Lifetime’s Q&A session earlier this week:

Moderator: “Since [your new show The Client List] is on Lifetime, obviously there’’s only so much they can show, but if it aired on like HBO or Showtime instead and the role actually required nudity, would you still have done it?”

Jennifer Love Hewitt: “I wouldn’t have done nudity, no. That’s not something that I feel particularly comfortable with. I also think that it’s sexier not to show everything. I feel that people’s imaginations can do way more, so no it probably would have been a different consideration for me.”

“I also think that it’s sexier not to show everything” — yeah, if you looked like Kate Beckinsale. Let this be a lesson to all you ladies currently waitressing at Pizza Hut: If you want to get off of lame cable TV and be on Showtime or HBO, then you must take the plunge for the sake of your career and show me the goodies. I’ll give Jennifer a pass on my formula for two reasons. First, she “seems” to have spectacular tits, but never ever shows them, so I suspect some chicanery may be afoot with regards to her sweater meat. Second, Jennifer’s ass expands and contracts as if the Moon’s gravity was pulling on it (the Moon, of course, being a McDonald’s drive-thru window at 3am). I’ve taken a survey and have concluded that America is willing to meet big Jen halfway. There’s no demand to see that large dumper or slightly above average face, so we’ll put you in a nice burqa with cut-outs where your rack goes. I’m calling it a “open-faced titty burrito.” Don’t bother to register that name, I already own the copyright. You’re welcome.


April 6, 2012 - 6:30 am