Carrie Underwood handles her own panties, thank you very much

Carrie Underwood arriving at LAX airport (5/2)

During her appearance on Oprah’s Next Chapter last night, Carrie Underwood revealed that, despite being a millionaire many times over, she still prefers to do her own laundry. Oh my gosh, we have so much in common. We should definitely have sex:

“It makes tour life a little difficult because those are things that I really don’t have time to do. So that’s what I do on my days off. We go to the laundromat. I get my quarters, we go to the laundromat and go do our laundry. I just don’t like other people doing my laundry. It freaks me out.”

That’s not really the reason Carrie Underwood does her own laundry, and AGAIN, I apologize. Look, it was just a misunderstanding (I could have sworn that Carrie looked right at me through my binoculars and told me I had permission to scale her security wall, shimmy down a lit chimney, rifle through her laundry hamper, and play scratch n’ sniff with her panties). I did not, I repeat, DID NOT wear her panties or any of her undergarments. It was just good, clean, sweet smelling fun. Obviously the judge agreed with my version of events — he made sure that I come off the sex offender list not a second later than 2033.


May 21, 2012 - 2:15 pm