Rihanna sounds like a good time

Rihanna leaving Il Ristorante Di Giorgio Baldi in Beverly Hills (5/17)

According to the new issue of The National Enquirer, Rihanna is in a “life-or-death” battle with liver damage caused by years of drinking and out-of-control partying. Oh c’mon, it’s not like you need your liver. Most overrated organ in the body, in my opinion. A “concerned insider” told the tabloid:

“Rihanna is spiraling out of control and is headed for an early grave. It never seems to be one beer or one cocktail. Once she gets started, Rihanna pounds drinks all night long, sometimes until the sum comes up. She definitely goes on binges. She’s been a hard drinker since her teens and her friends and family are desperately urging her to get into rehab.”

Medical experts say the sexy singer’s drinking habits could be deadly. “Rihanna could be dead tomorrow from liver failure,” Orlando-based, board-certified physician Dr. Gabe Mirkin tells Enquirer. Although he has not treated the hard-drinking entertainer, Dr. Mirkin notes: “Anybody who drinks alcohol for more than two hours a day, even if it is binge drinking once a week, is looking at premature death. Once the liver is permanently damaged, it’s over.”

Geez, it’s looking more and more as if Rihanna is in a race with Katy Perry on who can drink their career into the toilet first. I thought Katy was ahead on points, but as it turns out, Rihanna has employees that are better at keeping secrets . . . that or Katy is cheap. You know, in a strange way, Rihanna is really buying into that women’s empowerment horseshit. She’s taking the initiative to kill herself instead of leaving it in the hands of Chris Brown. So fuck off, Chris.


Tags: Rihanna
May 25, 2012 - 12:15 pm