Lindsay Lohan hospitalized after car accident

Lindsay Lohan totaled her Porsche

Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized this afternoon after rear-ending an 18 wheeler in her Porsche on PCH in Santa Monica at noon. According to TMZ, both Lindsay and her assistant (the passenger) were bleeding and bruised, but both were conscious after the accident. An ambulance was called to the scene, but only her assistant took it to the hospital.

Gee, who could have predicted that the “Lindsay Lohan + Car that Goes 0-6 in 4.2 seconds” experiment would end in such a manner? When she gets out of the hospital, maybe she can start driving around the Space Shuttle.

Of course, after the accident, Lindsay was heard saying that it wasn’t her fault and that the 18 wheeler cut her off. Of course. She’d probably have Natalie Portman’s career and millions of dollars in the bank right now if not for that fucking 18 wheeler. Thing is clearly out to get her. Probably just jealous.

UPDATE (3:45 PST): And Lindsay’s already out of the hospital. And looks suspiciously fine (below). This all seems like an elaborate ploy to steal Vicodin. Does she even have an assistant?

June 8, 2012 - 5:30 pm