Victoria Beckham too skinny to hold her kid

Victoria Beckham needs to eat

Victoria Beckham has gotten so skinny that she can barely hold her own baby? Yeah, sure, I can buy that. A “veteran British photographer” told the National Enquirer:

“Whenever she knows she’s being watched, she’ll hold the baby for a few frames. As soon as she knows we have the photos she’ll hand [Harper] off to a bodyguard.”

It’s not that the 38 year-old fashion designer doesn’t love her child — her diet has made her weak. “She is smart enough to now that until she gets her vertigo and fainting spells under control, it’s best not to be carrying Harper around,” reveals a close insider, who blames Victoria’s diet. (Print Edition – 6/8)

“You can never be too broke or too fat.” Do you know who said that? No one did — I made that shit up to set up my brilliant post. The real saying goes something like “You can never be too rich or too thin.” Great words to live by. Instead of attacking Mrs. Beckham, we should lavish her with praise since she’s the skinny-ass bitch all modern wives and mothers should strive to be. As any doctor can tell you, a proper lady should only be heavy enough for the force of gravity to take effect. If heavier, skip lunch.


June 29, 2012 - 6:30 am