Kris Jenner is a monster

Kris Jenner for FLAVOR magazine

Kris Jenner is livid that her two youngest daughters, 16-year-old Kendall and 14-year-old Kylie, are being exploited by predatory editors eager to showcase the girls in increasingly sexualized ways to generate buzz and sales for their magazines. Nah, I’m totally kidding. She’s all for it. An insider told OK!:

“Kris totally encourages it. She’s proud that Kendall and Kylie are so sexy.”

But what about Kim? Being so protective of her little sisters, she must be urging them to tone it down a bit . . .

“Kim sees nothing wrong with it,” the source tells OK! Magazine. “She actually took them for their first bikini wax when Kendall was 14 and Kylie was only 12!”

But not everyone is on board. “Khloe and Kourtney are starting to think it’s over the top,” the insider reveals. “But Bruce is the most concerned. It makes him cringe .. Look at Britney Spears, or Lindsay Lohan or even Demi Lovato. They were way too sexy too young and it really wrecked them. Demi has come out of it, but not without extreme therapy. No one wants to see Kendall and Kylie got through that sort of agony.”

You know, life is a funny thing. I think we can all agree that most mothers tend to be protective of their daughters. A typical middle class mother would try to set their girls on the right track with classic, common sense advice such as “Don’t dress up like a whore,” “Marriage is to be taken seriously,” and my personal favorite: “Don’t lay down for minorities.” Not only did Kris not tell team KKK any of these things, she actually researched what lighting works best to highlight Kim’s slightly dirty looking Armenian sex organ for her “leaked” video (soft white, if you must know). Kris has my vote for mother of the decade, right after Andrea Yates.

July 2, 2012 - 1:00 pm