Lindsay was lying about her brakes? You don’t say . . .

Lindsay Lohan leaving Shore Bar in Santa Monica (7/4)

Rather than sit back and let a shady little junkie trash one of their products, Porsche did a little testing of their own and discovered that, despite Lindsay Lohan’s claims, the brakes worked just fine on the 911 she crashed into the back of an 18-wheeler on Pacific Coast Highway in June. Oh my gosh, I am so surprised by this surprising news. From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan’s brakes couldn’t have failed last month — moments before she slammed her Porsche into an 18-wheeler — because sources tell TMZ, Porsche itself tested the car after the crash … and the brakes passed with flying colors. Lindsay blamed faulty brakes for the accident.– telling friends she slammed on the brakes when the truck allegedly cut her off … and nothing happened.

As it happens, we’re told Porsche caught wind of Lindsay’s excuse and contacted the company that rented Lindsay the vehicle — asking if it could formally test the car. According to sources, the rental company obliged — and Porsche ran its tests, finding the brakes that had been installed on the car were A-OK, and showed no evidence of malfunction … which blows Lindsay’s bum brakes excuse out of the water.

You know what’s funny? Lindsay didn’t have to go through the trouble of lying to get out of this jam. As any DA in the so-so state of California will tell you, Lindsay Lohan is above the law . . . or at least that’s what her mother/manager/enabler/drug mule Dina says. Actually, Dina says no district attorney in the world has the cojones to make a parking ticket stick — let alone a hit and attempted run. She also said you all have small penises, and your children are ugly and stupid and gay and ugly.

[Pacific Coast News, FameFlynet]

July 17, 2012 - 10:30 am