Khloe Kardashian might be O.J.’s daughter

Khloe Kardashian out and about in West Hollywood (8/22)

If you can forget the fact that she doesn’t look half-black, the National Enquirer claims that Khloe Kardashian is O.J. Simpson’s daughter. Meh. I couldn’t possibly think less of the Kardashian family, so whatever. From the tabloid:

“O.J. believes Khloe is his natural-born daughter through his affair with Kris Jenner when she was married to his buddy Robert Kardashian – and he wants to do something about it,” revealed an insider.

Although he’s been crying poor mouth, Simpson has actually stashed away more than $2 million in secret Cayman Islands bank accounts – and he has millions more coming to him over the years through his NFL pension. Now O.J. wants to make sure Khloe gets part of it. But when he told his four children – Arnelle, 43, Jason, 42, Sydney, 26, and Justin, 24 – he was including Khloe in his will, all hell broke loose.

“At first they thought he was just making a big joke, but when they realized he was serious, they were flabbergasted,” said the source. “They are furious and wonder why they have to share the wealth with a complete stranger.”

Holy mother of everything big and small, what more can I possibly add to this? O.J. Simpson is a caricature of an evil villain — I’m surprised he hasn’t tied his children to railroad tracks by now. Does Sasquatch Kardashian really need his money? Of course not, but if O.J. wants her to have it, then it’s hers. O.J. must be so frustrated. Since he’s in prison where he belongs, he can’t handle things the way he’s accustomed to. Of course by “handle” I mean murder, and by “things” I mean his backtalking children.


September 14, 2012 - 1:30 pm