Robert Pattinson took Kristen Stewart back cough*pussy*cough

Robert Pattinson at the Stand Up To Cancer event at The Shrine Auditorium in L.A. (9/7)

Despite being nationally humiliated by her, Robert Pattinson has forgiven Kristen Stewart and the two are getting back together. WTF? She’s not even hot, dude. You have your pick of high school girls 18-year-old girls across the country. From The Sun:

Robert Pattinson and love cheat co-star Kristen Stewart have become an item again — just months after he walked out on her. R-Patz, 26, was last night revealed to have had a heart-to-heart with the tearful Hollywood beauty, 22, and forgiven her “stupid mistake”.

A source told how the smitten Brit had set up home with the brunette once more — adding: “They pretty much decided they couldn’t live without each other.

“Kristen poured her heart out to Robert and told him it was a one-off and a mistake. Rob sees it as Kristen made a really stupid mistake. After a lot of long tearful talks, they’ve worked it out. Rob can see how truly sorry Kristen is and has totally forgiven her. They really do love each other.”

The pair have now moved into a secluded pad in the same Los Angeles compound where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a place.

Whatever, dude. The next time Kristen gives you a big, wet, sloppy kiss, hopefully it won’t taste like Rupert Sanders’ scrotum (since it’s clear from her outward appearance that she doesn’t brush her teeth and use mouthwash liberally). I’m just kidding, buddy. These are the sort of jokes you’re gonna have to put up with since you agreed to be a cuckold. Obviously you didn’t man-up because I see Rupert’s teeth are still in his mouth so I guess you’ll have to deal with the situation with class and humor, which at the end of the day makes you a total pussy. Now you can either wait outside your room while they hump each other or you can help prep the bull for Kristen.


September 19, 2012 - 10:30 am