Joe Simpson says he’s not gay

Joe Simpson says he’s not gay

Joe Simpson is finally denying the rumor that popped up about him last week that he prefers the company of men, if you know what I’m talking about. Yeah, that’s what you want to do with a good gay rumor. Let it simmer for a week before you finally address it. Nothing suspicious there. From TMZ:

Rumors be damned … a frustrated Joe Simpson is telling friends and colleagues the stories that he’s switched teams are absurd. There have been several reports out recently that Joe has told his family he’s gay and that’s why his marriage fell apart. There are also reports about several guys he’s rumored to be dating/hooking up with. Sources who speak with Joe tell TMZ … Jessica Simpson’s daddy says it ain’t so … that the stories are “ridiculous.” The people we spoke with are split — some believe him, and some think he’s just not ready to come out publicly.

Hey, this is the era we live in, folks. Basically, no matter who you are or what your situation is, spin spin spin. For example: Paris Hilton is still current news, just like Britney Spears isn’t on saltwater crocodile tranquilizers, and Team KKKardashian aren’t reprehensible attention whores. It’s a publicist’s world. Papa Joe Simpson isn’t gay since most straight men get caught balls deep in young male models. I mean, what middle-aged-man’s man hasn’t taken a sip out of a trouser snake at some point in his life? It’s the 50-something-year-olds without bleached blonde hair and fabulous outfits who are the real queers. Now if you don’t mind, I have some names I need to sew into a giant quilt.


Tags: Joe Simpson
November 6, 2012 - 6:30 am