Trouble in paradise?

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied out and about in Paris (6/18)

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied’s wedding was only in August, but already their marriage might be in trouble. Look Benjamin, it was just an innocent handjob — Natalie and I both agreed that it didn’t mean a thing. Wait that’s not what we’re talking about? From Life & Style:

Benjamin Millpied was at the top of his game as a sought-after choreographer and principal dancer with New York City Ballet. But on the Left Coast — the base of Natalie Portman, the real breadwinner in the family — he’s been floundering, and insiders say he’s grown resentful as a result.

Notes an insider, “in New York, Benjamin may have been a star, but here he’s just viewed as Natalie’s plus-one! Natalie has grown increasingly frustrated with Ben because he’s not a very present father to Aleph. She’s always the one getting up with the baby – she just doesn’t feel she’s getting the support she needs.” (Print Edition – 11/12)

Of course Natalie’s marriage is in trouble — she really slummed for a husband. This Benjamin Millpied Millipede Millepide guy is about as big a nobody as you could find to marry. Natalie’s pretty dumb for a smart person — how does she not know the fact that a woman cannot EVER elevate a man to her status? Don’t believe me? OK, I guess we didn’t just go through the Kevin Federline or Frodo Baggins Aguilera era. Quick question: Who is Queen Elizabeth married to? Exactly. Nobody knows or cares, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Queen herself was on that don’t care list. Nat, next time you get married, you need to set your target a little higher than a dance instructor . . . like say a garbage man, or the guy that cleans the bird cages at Petco.


November 29, 2012 - 3:00 pm