Lindsay Lohan’s career is really taking off

Lindsay Lohan arriving at Good Morning America studios in New York (11/8)

Lindsay Lohan has officially hit the “available for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs” stage of her career. As for what she’s available for, I’m not exactly sure . . . something “blowjobby” I’m assuming. From the New York Post:

Facing money woes, a staggering tax bill and alleged delinquency on her storage locker full of personal possessions, is Lindsay Lohan’s scrambling to make some cash? A talent company claiming to represent the troubled actress wants us to know their client is available for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs.

Page Six received an email pitch from 123Talent with the subject line “Book One of Hollywood’s Biggest Movie Stars Lindsay Lohan Now!” offering us the opportunity to request the presence of Lohan herself at whatever event or venue. In bright pink lettering, the email reminds us that “Not only is Lindsay an Actress but she is also a Fashion Designer, Model and Recording Artist.”

I can’t believe how entertaining (and long-lasting) Lindsay’s meltdown has been. Her death spiral is changing the definition of what we used to call “rock bottom” . . . which is really putting a hurting on my celebrity dead pool team. Most celebs try to save face and disappear into obscurity as penance to their career suicides (see Ryder, Winona and Gibson, Mel), but not my Lindsay. She’s a fighter. There’s no Hollywood mafia, rehab center, unpaid bill, shoplifting law, eviction notice, or breathalyzer test in the world that’s gonna keep her from being an entitled cunt.


December 17, 2012 - 12:30 pm