Jessica Alba shuns booty shorts. A pox on thee!

Jessica Alba’s ass is a national treasure

Even though she has the best ass in the world, Jessica Alba doesn’t want to show it off. Prude. Via Contact Music:

Jessica Alba will never wear “booty shorts”. The ‘Sin City’ actress has made the top 100 of various lists – including the 100 Hottest Women of All-Time by Men’s Health magazine – over the years and although she is known for her stunning figure, Jessica is “confident” she will never be seen wearing the itsy-bitsy item of clothing.

She told InStyle magazine: “I probably won’t ever wear booty shorts. I feel pretty confident about that. And I don’t like oversize shoulder pads, but I do appreciate a strong shoulder profile, like the ones [designer] Isabel Marant is doing.”

Wow, I’m really disappointed in Jessica. Her ass is a gift from the Divine Lord and Creator and it was meant to be shared with the world, like clean energy and Lindsay Lohan crime statistics. Jessica is being selfish by not showing us her greatest asset anymore, in my humble opinion. The terrorists have won, Jessica. And it’s all your fault.

[FameFlynet, WENN, Pacific Coast News, INF Pictures, Bauer Griffin]

Tags: Jessica Alba
January 11, 2013 - 5:00 pm