Richard Branson gives the coolest wedding presents

Kate Winslet and Ned RocknRoll in Boston last June

Note to Self: Invite Richard Branson to wedding; get divorced; invite him again; repeat. From the Telegraph:

Kate Winslet, 37 – who wed Sir Richard’s nephew Ned RocknRoll in a secret ceremony in New York – has been given a [$200k] ticket to leave the atmosphere on a Virgin Galactic flight.

RocknRoll, 34, works part time for Virgin Galactic which hopes to start flights next year. More than 530 people have already bought a [$200k] ticket including comedian Russell Brand, actor Ashton Kutcher and science genius Stephen Hawking who also received a free ride courtesy of Branson. The trip is a two-hour flight to 60 miles above earth.

There’s no doubt that getting blasted into orbit as a present might be one of the coolest things ever — maybe even cooler than getting a lap dance from a drunk and horny Kate Beckinsale. What we should discuss is the news that Kate Winslet married a guy named Ned RocknRoll. I feel like I owe Ashton Kutcher an apology since I’ve been referring to him as the King of Douchebags for years — a title he just lost to Abel Smith. Yeah, Mr. RocknRoll’s real name is the ultra-nerdy Abel Smith. Oh hey, do you want to know a way cooler name than Ned RocknRoll? Abel Smith.

ALTERNATE HEADLINE: Kate Winslet married the tall version of Peter Dinklage


January 7, 2013 - 1:30 pm