Everyone wants to have sex with the new Miss Universe

Olivia Culpo at the premiere of Cosmopolis at MOMA in New York (8/13)

Everyone is trying to get into the new Miss Universe’s pants. Well, yeah. Because everyone has eyes. From the New York Daily News:

So far, spies say crooner Joe Jonas and “Family Guy” creator and 2013 Oscar host Seth MacFarlane have come knocking. So has Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte — but Miss Universe pageant owner Donald Trump said the Olympian doesn’t stand a chance.

“That swimmer is all over her like a puppy dog,” Trump said. “She’s rebuffed all kinds of celebrities. Olivia is focused on being Miss Universe. She’s a smart, good girl.”

Wow, that’s great . . . I guess. I know it’s supposed to be a really good thing for the ego to have all these “celebrities” lining up to bang you so you can brag about it on Twitter, but these guys aren’t exactly what I refer to as “A-listers”. An ex-boy bander, Michael Phelps’ bitch, and a guy who — let’s face facts — made millions of dollars doing the same voice we’ve all done trying to make a hot chick laugh. Hell, I’m surprised Kathy Griffith hasn’t slithered out of her cave and tried to go down on Olivia yet. Oh god, now I can’t get that image out of my head . . . *shoots self in head*


January 9, 2013 - 6:30 am