Kate Upton almost died

Kate Upton is the toughest swimsuit model in the world

OK, Kate Upton didn’t almost die during her swimsuit shoot in Antarctica last year, but she did almost get frostbite, and frostbite would have made her less pretty, so that’s basically worse than dying. Via the Daily Mail:

For the assignment the supermodel stripped off to a tiny white string bikini on the shores of the South Pole, where the average high is around -49 degrees Fahrenheit.

Describing the effects the sub-zero weather had on her body she told the Today show: “When I came back, I was like losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down, it was working so hard to keep me warm. It was freezing. I’m from Florida so, it wasn’t great for me. Obviously, the pictures now, it’s incredible. I can’t believe we were all able to accomplish that.”

Now this is why the Wonder Woman movie will never work. Who needs a big-titted cartoon gal doing heroic deeds on film when Kate Upton is potentially sacrificing her sweet rack for us in real life? Frost bitten nips are no joke, kids. With that Sports Illustrated spread, she single-handedly (pun fully intended) gave billions of Earthlings a reason to stay home from work and furiously diddle themselves. Why? Because she loves us like Jesus loves us, maybe even a little bit more. Kate Upton for Pope, 2013.

February 14, 2013 - 8:00 am