Cristiano Ronaldo may have cheated on Irina Shayk with this chick

Andressa Urach in Miami (2/16)

Is metrosexual soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo cheating on his stupid-hot girlfriend Irina Shayk with Miss Butt Brazil runner-up Andressa Urach? Sure, why not. From The Sun:

Andressa Urach, 27, said the Real Madrid ace bedded her after a string of racy texts. And she described how the pair ended up romping in a posh hotel last week [after] Ronaldo began sending Andressa texts and later spoke to her via internet service Skype.

Andressa said: “I have always thought Cristiano is one of the most gorgeous men in the world, so I couldn’t believe it when he got in touch with me. He said he was very excited by my pictures online and one of the first things he asked was if I really was a Miss Butt Brazil model. Cristiano told me to come to Madrid and that we’d meet, but he would not tell me where or when exactly. He said he had to be careful because if it came out that he’d seen me, his girlfriend wouldn’t be happy. They are together, but he told me the relationship wasn’t serious. He didn’t say anything else about her.”

When she got there, she said: “We looked at each other and, just like that, we were all over each other. He is fantastic. It was incredible — the best time of my life. His body is perfect, like something from the gods. He is so ripped — there isn’t an ounce of fat on his body. I can barely believe it. I have never been with anyone like him.”

Is Irina Shayk slow or something? Cristiano was a scumbag long before he was putting grass stains on her clothes and knees, so I can’t understand the outrage. Now, before you Ronaldo fanboys get upset at me for using the word “scumbag” to describe him, just understand that I mean no disrespect. He’s a scumbag in the good way, the manly way. Christiano enjoys the company of whores, a fact well known to Irina. So what’s the big deal if he plows a few every now and again? It’s not as if he’s keeping that sloppy mess — he rode Miss Fat Ass like a greasy donkey and sent her packing without a single dollar to get back home. I call that progress. Irina, show Cristiano that you’re marriage material by changing the sheets and never bringing this situation up again.

[Splash News]

April 30, 2013 - 5:00 pm