Reese Witherspoon arrested and thrown in jail for being a bitch

Reese Witherspoon arrested

Turns out “America’s Sweetheart” is actually “America’s Total Drunken Bitch” — Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct early Friday morning in Atlanta for being a drunken idiot to the cop who was arresting her husband for DUI. Bitch even pulled the “don’t you know who I am?” card. Yeah, you’re an actress. You read lines that other, more talented people, wrote for you. From Variety:

Once Toth was placed under arrest, Witherspoon exited the vehicle and was instructed to get back in the car. According to the report, she “stated that she was a ‘US citizen’ and that she was allowed to ‘stand on American ground.'”

The officer then detailed how she resisted as he grabbed her arms to arrest as Toth attempted to calm her down.

As the report details, “Mrs. Witherspoon asked, “Do you know my name?” I answered, “No, I don’t need to know your name.” I then added, “right now.” Mrs. Witherspoon stated, “You’re about to find out who I am.

The report also specified, “Mrs. Witherspoon also stated, ‘You are going to be on national news.‘ I advised Mrs. Witherspoon that was fine.

Reese Witherspoon has been arrested more recently than Lindsay Lohan. How fucked up does that sound? And this isn’t one of those “I love the forest so much that I’m going to chain myself to this tree”-kind of Hollywood pussy arrests that Clooney’s rap sheet is full of. This is a legit “I am a stupid fucking idiot” arrest. So now that Reese’s carefully-crafted good girl image is shattered, she might as well embrace it. Start clubbing into the wee hours of the morning. Walk around smoking Swisher Sweets. Date Michael Vick. Go crazy, Reese. You’ve earned it.