Justin Bieber doesn’t play ping pong on normal tables

Justin Bieber in Belgium last month

What, you’ve never played ping pong on a table made of gold? That’s the only thing I play on. And not that 18k crap — what is this, the projects? Nothing but 24k for me. From The Sun:

Justin Bieber’s team have booked out 60 rooms at two different hotels in [Dubair] to make sure the teenage star stays out of trouble [during his tour]. At 19, Justin is two years shy of the legal drinking age in Dubai, which means he won’t be allowed in most nightclubs while there is booze around. But one of the clubs has shipped in a specially-made 24-carat gold ping pong table to keep him occupied while the older members of his entourage get bongoed.

A source said: “Everything is on lockdown because Justin’s management know he’ll be watched like a hawk by the authorities. His team have been scouting the area for things for him to do instead of going to bars all night. He can’t even stay in some of the best restaurants after midnight and has to be with an adult until then.”

This can’t be real, isn’t there a worldwide recession going on? Goddammit, this is outrageous. What difference does having a ping pong table covered in gold make? It’s just a big “fuck you” to everyone
reading this. Since Justin has creepy perverts for bodyguards, with any
luck he’s being treating like Jodi Foster on a pinball machine, although
something about this kid tells me he probably wouldn’t be offended.


May 7, 2013 - 2:45 pm