Do not speak of Hayden Panettiere’s cellulite

Hayden Panettiere in all her cellulite glory

Hayden Panettiere tells Stella magazine that a magazine’s claim that she had cellulite when she was 16 sent her into a years-long spiral of body shame that she’s only recently began to emerge from (with new tits). Chicks, man. They’re fucking nuts.

“I remember being 16 years old, bending over in a shop, and having somebody snap a photo of me from behind and publish it in a magazine, saying that I had cellulite,'” Hayden, 23, tells Stella Magazine.

It upset me so much I didn’t wear shorts again for five years. I even developed insecurities about areas of my body that I never even thought to be self-conscious about.”

Hell yeah, Hayden’s got an order of cottage cheese to go with her thunder thighs . . . What’s that, you say? She’s still being deep-dicked by that Ukrainian monster? Well then, allow me to tell Miss Panettiere and her representatives that the fine writers of have never — nor shall we ever — sink to such immature name-calling and mudslinging. On behalf of the entire interwebs, allow me to express my sincerest apologies to you and your scary-as-fuck Heavyweight Champion of the World boyfriend, who I will not mention by name because I don’t want to be on his or any other Russian’s radar for ANY reason at all. Please don’t kill me.


June 11, 2013 - 5:00 pm