Tom Cruise is not happy

Katie Holmes and Luke Kirby filming Mania Days in New York (5/14)

Katie Holmes is getting pretty close to her Mania Days co-star Luke Kirby, and Tom Cruise is not too happy about. Oh, I’m confused. Is he still married to her? From the National Enquirer:

The hot-to-trot single mom didn’t hold back while filming sexually charged scenes with her “Mania Days” leading man Luke Kirby in New York recently.

“Katie put real passion into those kisses – you wouldn’t have known they were scripted,” said an eyewitness. She looked like she was in the throes of ecstasy. She loved every minute of it, and it’s as if she was shoving it in Tom’s face!”

Sources say the explicit poses sent Tom into a tizzy!

“He’s fit to be tied,” said an insider close to Cruise, 50. “This stuff is almost X-rated. He’s also angry that Katie never showed that same kind of passion or public displays of affection with him … Word quickly got back to Katie that Tom was upset over the photos of the sexy scenes, but she doesn’t care anymore. She’s showing him that he can no longer control her life. They share a child – that’s all.”

“…and this belongs to me…” – O.J. Simpson to Nicole Brown Simpson (while grabbing her crotch in a crowded bar, late ’80s)

Awkward. Is this how Lord of the Multiverse Tom Cruise plans to control the ex, with public sniping and Colombian Neckties? I’d keep my head on a swivel if I were Katie and her fuckstick-of-the-month, Luke Kirby. Don’t laugh, height-challenged guys like lil’ Tommy are an angry bunch who take no prisoners. Micromanagers such as Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and NYC Mayor Mike “The Nanny” Bloomberg are just two guys who make up for their shortcomings by being total cunts. Tom is cut from the same cloth (though a much smaller piece). Tom will undoubtedly use all of his Scientology powers to eat Katie’s soul, and if that doesn’t work, he’ll just do what every Hollywood bully does and spread a rumor that she fucked Pauly Shore.


June 14, 2013 - 8:00 am