So Katy Perry and John Mayer are back together

Katy Perry is back with John Mayer

Even though she told the July issue of Vogue that she was definitely done with him, Katy Perry and John Mayer were spotted “kissing and cuddling” at the Friars Club Roast of Don Rickles last night in New York. So why can’t Katy quit him? The sex, stupid. It’s the crazy good sex. Via Contact Music:

Katy [Perry’s] inner circle believe she will give John [Mayer] another chance because she is so physically attracted to him. A source added: “John is a physical guy and Katy says it has been the best sex of her life.”

Katy revealed to the July issue of Vogue: “It’s over … I was madly in love with him. I still am madly in love with him. All I can say about that relationship is that he’s got a beautiful mind. Beautiful mind, tortured soul. I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds.”

Horsecock. That’s the word Katy is looking for. Fleshy radiator hose would do, as would trouser salami. No offense to Katy’s needledicked exes, Eurotrash and the cuckold, but she needs the “impale, curl toes, impale, curl toes” cycle of bliss that can only be provided by the well-endowed like Johnny M. and yours truly. She can save that “beautiful mind, tortured soul” bullshit for her next dopey CD. Hmmm, big sweaty tits, reverse cowgirl, soaked couch, get out. Classy, right? Quick, somebody pull my pants down and finish me off.


June 25, 2013 - 12:15 pm