Gisele is the big winner

Gisele is the top earning supermodel

Gisele is not only the highest earning supermodel this year, but she beat second place Miranda Kerr by $35 million. That bitch. From Forbes:

No. 1: Gisele Bündchen $42 million

Though her endorsement earnings dipped this year, the 32-year-old is still one of the most powerful supermodels. She recently replaced Beyonce as the face of H&M, reportedly beat out Rihanna for Chanel and took over David Yurman from Kate Moss — all in the same year she welcomed daughter Vivian, her second child with quarterback husband Tom Brady.

No. 2: Miranda Kerr $7 million

The Australian beauty became a Victoria’s Secret Angel in 2007. Kerr also owns a cosmetics line, Kora Organics, which she launched in 2009. This year, the wife of Orlando Bloom continued to rake in millions with old contracts (Victoria’s Secret) and new ones (Mango, David Jones, Lipton, Quantas).

Oh my stars and garters, this lady is rich, bitch. Good for Gisele — she’s 32-years-old in human years and ready for retirement. In supermodel years, 32 is like being Paris Hilton: fun to mock, but completely valueless to humanity. I can say without any sarcasm at all that Gisele is wearing the pants in her family, since all Tom Brady brings to the table is a few million dollars and three Super Bowl wins (he wasn’t even the MVP in one of them, the queer). Hopefully that mountain of cash Gisele sleeps on inspires Miranda Kerr to pick up her pace. $7 mil is a nice, round number, but I recommend Miranda dumps Legolas and challenges the champ to a pillow fight in my bedroom. There won’t be a cash prize, but I’ll tweet pictures of my sprained wrists as soon as I recover.

August 22, 2013 - 10:30 am