Olivia Wilde speaks the truth

Olivia Wilde arriving leaving a studio in L.A. (8/9)

Olivia Wilde tells the new issue of Glamour that she’s both “saddened and grossed out” by young women in Hollywood getting plastic surgery. Oh c’mon, it’s not like anything bad could happen. Right Tara Reid’s freaky-looking tits?

“Don’t cut your face. I am so saddened and grossed out by young women who look like creepy, old aliens because of their new Barbie noses and lips. Is that a smile or a grimace? Did you melt hot wax on your face, or is that your skin? A better approach: Take care of yourself now that you’re old enough to know how. Drink water, sleep eight hours (I wish), and don’t go within 400 feet of a tanning booth or I’ll slap you. Hard.”

Damn, Olivia shooting hard on the Hollywood claymation faces has me all chubbed up. Although she’s right, the airheads that Olivia’s talking about are comparing themselves to OLIVIA WILDE. No wonder these fat, bird-lipped, hook-nosed, pasty-faced, ugly fatso fatties want plastic surgery. They want to be stars, not Real Housewives of New Jersey . . . but I do see where Olivia’s going with this. The offer still stands, I bring you on as a writer to keep shitting on whomever you want to shit on, and you just pop the top and blast those nips for me once in a while.


Tags: Olivia Wilde
August 15, 2013 - 8:00 am