Miley Cyrus stopped breathing through her mouth for a second to say that she’s retiring her tongue

Miley Cyrus out and about in London (9/11)

Look, just look at this headline picture of Miley Cyrus and tell me she’s not the product of some redneck cousins that fucked a few branches down in her family tree. From Contact Music:

Miley Cyrus is retiring her tongue. The pop starlet is famed for sticking out her tongue in photos and on stage, but is getting bored with striking a rock ‘n’ roll pose and is planning to come up with a new look.

Speaking on French TV show ‘Le Grand Journal’, she said: “It’s the new Miley tongue. I think people always take pictures of themselves and me doing it is just being myself so it’s kind of like my style now … [But] that’s getting a little old. I’m going to have to retire it!”

Yeah, everybody is pretty sick of her stupid tongue. Miley sticking her tongue all the way out like that isn’t edgy, or outrageous, or even mildly perturbing, it’s lame. The only person I can think of who would find her constant tongue-wagging offensive is Eddie Van Halen, but there’s no need to go there. If Miley wants to be remembered, I recommend she do something that no pop star can currently do — learn to carry a goddamn note. I mean, come on. At the VMAs, I wasn’t sure if Miley Cyrus was actually singing with Robin Thicke, Jr. or if someone dubbed a track of an elephant getting fisted by a drunk poacher.


Tags: Miley Cyrus
September 13, 2013 - 1:30 pm