Orlando Bloom ain’t happy with Leo DiCaprio
Miranda Kerr at Roberto Cavalli’s Flagship Opening Store in New York (12/12)
Orlando Bloom is not happy with Leonardo DiCaprio for waiting all of two days before moving in on his estranged wife Miranda Kerr. In Leo’s defense, he’s never had sex with Miranda before (who looks really good topless) and he needs to nail her to complete the full set of Victoria’s Secret Angels. A source told the National Enquirer:
“Miranda is Leo’s dram girl. He’s had the hots for her for years but mostly kept his distance out of respect for her marriage. About a month ago Orlando told Leo that he and Miranda were splitting up and he was brokenhearted over it. Leo comforted his pal, saying, ‘I know better than anybody — there are plenty of other fish in the sea.'” Then Leo, 39, turned around and asked 30-year-old Miranda out on a date.
“Orlando was shocked that a friend would stab him in the back so callously,” said the source. “He told Leo to lay off, at least until his divorce is final.” Still, the source said that Orlando, 36, grumbled to another pal: “With friends like Leo, who needs enemies!” (Print Edition – 12/16)
I’m starting to feel bad for Legolas. It seems that all of his friends have been waiting for Miranda to come to her senses, and now they’re lining up to come in her. I’m sorry, that was a cheap joke. I’m sure the fact that Orlando’s ex is taking the pipe from all of his friends is just a coincidence, and has nothing to do with the fact that Little O is about as intimidating as a bowl of chicken noodle soup on a cold winter’s day. Sorry bud, you knew that your pal Leo has dibs on all Victoria’s Secret models, past, present, and married. Let the man do his thing to your wife and move on, get over it, and try not to think about it. Trust me, nobody wants to be compared to Leonardo’s sex antics, just do what I do and keep swimming in his wake.