Archive: Lynne Spears

Lynne Spears won’t go away

Britney Spears’ mom Lynne wants to turn her tell-all memoir Through the Storm into a movie. From The Sun:

Scary Movie star Anna Faris is being lined up to play Britney and Lynne has a Hollywood superstar in mind to play the part of her. A source close to Lynne said: “She’s pitching the book around to studios. She even says she wants Julia Roberts to play her. It’s insane!” (Source)

This may be the first time that I actually agree with Lynne. She should have someone famous portray her in an upcoming movie. My suggestion: Andrea Yates. Both women are bat-shit crazy. Both are from the South. And both have killed their children. However, I could see why Lynne would want Julia Roberts to portray her. They both have one thing in common: Enormous mouths.

[WENN]

Straight to the hips Lynne, straight to the hips

Does anyone listen to Lynne Spears anymore? Seriously? Every time she talks, I can’t help but think of the teacher from Charlie Brown yapping away. Anyways, Lynne is pissed the media is treating VP-hopeful Sarah Palin’s pregnant teenage daughter, Bristol, different from her own pregnant teenage daughter, Jamie Lynn. From the most recent issue of Newsweek:

Newsweek: You and Jamie Lynn got some negative press when she got pregnant so young. But more recently, 17-year-old Bristol Palin, and her mother, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice presidential candidate, found themselves in a similar situation. And the public reaction has been different.

Lynn Spears: It’s a totally different reaction. It’s as if [Sarah Palin] became celebrated. I mean, the mother, Palin, was celebrated for this. Every woman in the world has applauded her strength and her convictions and poor little old Jamie Lynn—you saw how she was crucified. Everybody did, firsthand … I just feel like it’s been a very hypocritical situation. (Source)

Bristol Palin and Jamie Lynn Spears are both dumb whores. Happy now Lynne?

[WENN]

Lynne Spears swung by the Today Show this morning to promote her new book Through The Storm. She revealed to host Meredith Viera that daughter Jamie Lynn informed her she was pregnant via note:

“She hands me a note and tells me to go into the bedroom and read it and Casey wasn’t allowed to come over on school days so she told me he was coming to pick up his wallet. So he was there. So she hands me this note and it said that she was pregnant and everything was gonna be OK mom that she and Casey were gonna raise this baby. I came out and I thought it was a joke. I really thought — I kept waiting for the punch line. And then I noticed Casey’s feet on the coffee table which he never would do, he just doesn’t — Casey’s not like that. And Casey wouldn’t look at me. And so then at this point I knew, Oh my Gosh, this is not a joke.”

Feet on the coffee table? C’mon Casey, nothing screams “I had unprotected sex with your 16-year-old slut of a daughter” more than feet on the coffee table. You gotta be more respectful. Like wear a tuxedo. Parents can’t get mad at a guy in a tuxedo. It’s literally impossible. I’ve knocked up many an underage girl in my day, and I’ve never failed to have the parents buy me lunch after I told them.

Lynn Spears is a bad mother

Lynne Spears‘ memoir Through the Storm is set to be released this month. The publisher’s leaking some of the more juicy stories to help drum up publicity. Like how Britney began drinking at 13, lost her virginity at 14 to an 18-year-old, began taking drugs at 15, and banged Justin Timberlake — with her mother’s approval — at 16. From UK tabloid The Sun:

Lynne, 53, tells how she regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age. She believes Britney’s wild behavior as a teenage star is the root of her current problems. Britney, now 26, has twice been admitted to a hospital psychiatric ward this year. After the Mickey Mouse Club, Britney spent a year at high school in her home town of Kentwood, Louisiana, where she is said to have lost her virginity at the home of her footballer boyfriend.

As Britney later pursued her pop career, Lynne let her 16-year-old daughter sleep with teen sweetheart Justin Timberlake, despite claiming she was a virgin. A source said: “Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her.” Lynne’s book reportedly tells of her horror when Britney, still just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet. (Source)

Lynne let her daughter try booze at 13, sex at 14, drugs at 15 and still “regrets handing over control” of Britney to her managers? Sounds to me like the damage was already done. Lynne blaming Britney’s managers for the train wreck her daughter turned into is like lighting your own house on fire and then blaming the firemen when your possessions end up wet.

Lynn Spears has taken a life

Not recently. Back in 1975. But still, she killed a kid. The accident occurred in her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana. Lynn was driving her brother to the hospital after he’d suffered an injury when she hit and killed a 12-year-old boy riding a bicycle. A source close to the Spears family told People:

“To this day, Lynne hasn’t gotten over what she did. She gets that terrified look in her eye when she is thinking about it. She has told only a few people about the accident and always says, ‘Please don’t think I’m a bad person.’”

Her rep added:

“It bothers Lynne still to this day. She really doesn’t like to talk about it. She just wanted to forget that it ever happened - but she can’t.” (Source)

Let me get this straight? This was just a tragic, unavoidable accident? Lynne wasn’t talking on a cell phone or driving recklessly when she hit this kid? Rebecca Gayheart is unimpressed.

Drama in the Spears’ delivery room!

There was some major drama in the delivery room during the birth of little Maddie Briann Spears last week. Basically Jamie Lynn tried to kill her baby and she hates her mom. A family insider told Star:

“The baby’s heart rate dropped every time she tried to push. They did an ultrasound and quickly discovered that the umbilical cord was too short.” But despite the doctors’ dire warnings, the 17-year-old “was adamant about having a natural delivery.”

Jamie Lynn did eventually have a c-section but not before Britney ran out of the room in tears:

“[Britney] got mad,” says the insider. She told Jamie Lynn to “just have a damn Caesarian,” as she did. “Britney then ran out in tears because she couldn’t bear to see what was happening.”

According to the source, Lynne’s presence in the delivery room didn’t help:

“Lynne was already angry because her daughter didn’t want her in the delivery room at all. But she had insisted on being there, along with Casey Aldridge, Jamie Lynn’s boyfriend. Jamie Lynn cussed and yelled at her mom, and told her to get out. She cursed Lynne for bringing her into the world to bear such pain.” (Source)

For once Jamie Lynne and I have something in common: we both curse her mother for bringing her into this world. Does anyone else find Jamie Lynne’s behavior in the delivery room a little odd? It’s almost as if *shocker* she didn’t want the baby. Now I’m not saying her refusal to listen to her doctor’s warnings of “dire” consequences to the baby if she went through with the natural birth is suspicious — but last month’s two week “vacation” to Chernobyl followed by her “accidental” fall down a flight of stairs (twice), might be.

[Pacific Coast News]

Ahh, the innocence of youth Whore!

Lynne Spears finally opened up about her youngest daughter Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy. She told Life & Style Weekly:

“I’m a bit disappointed that my youngest daughter got pregnant at such an early age. All I can do is turn to God for answers and just leave it in his hands . . . Jamie Lynn will be a wonderful mother. She really has a way with children — she’s a natural nurturer. I just wish she had waited a bit . . . I think 2008 will be a better year for all of us.”

Do me a favor. If the words “wonderful mother” ever come out of my mouth in reference to my 17-year-old daughter, please shoot me in the head. Thanks.

[INFDaily.com]

Lynne Spears hits a paparazzo

Britney’s mom Lynne is starting to fight back. A paparazzo shoved his video camera into her face on Saturday and started asking question about Britney when Lynne finally hit the camera away. And then pulled his spine out through his mouth and punctured his heart with it. Or maybe that was from Mortal Kombat. The pills make me confused sometimes. GET OFF MY BACK.

The ongoing fued between Britney Spears and her mother apparently turned physical last month. Star magazine is reporting that the two engaged in a “shocking slapfest” that “left Lynne shaken and Britney more determined than ever to cut her mother out of her life for good.” Via MSNBC:

The trouble reportedly began when Lynne Spears stopped by her daughter’s house with an invitation on the weekend of June 15. “Lynne barged into the house and insisted on taking the kids out to spend some private time with them,” an insider told the tab. “She didn’t ask or suggest, she demanded!” says the insider. “Then she began denigrating Britney’s mothering skills and losing her temper at the same time!”

It was because of the cat fight that Spears served the legal papers against her mother, but the buzz is that Lynne Spears is mulling a countersuit. But she doesn’t completely blame her daughter — she believes the Toxic star is suffering from depression.

“Despite their problems, Lynne cares deeply for Britney and wants to find a way to help her,” a “friend” told Star. “She thinks antidepressant drugs may be the answer. Lynne feels Britney has severe depression issues, and they are in large part the cause of her apparent manic behavior and past problems with alcohol.” (Source)

Slapping? What the hell kind of crap is that? I thought all hillbilly fights involved shotguns, sticks, and the occasional horse trough dunkin’. Dammit Hollywood, what’s with the lies? I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.