Russell Simmons

Russell Simmons you sonofabitch

Russell Simmons and Hana Nitsche in Miami

Last time we checked in with Russell Simmons, he was dating some young, unnamed model. Which followed him dating another young, unnamed model. Which followed him dating another young, unnamed model. Which followed him dating swimsuit model Julie Henderson. And now he’s dating…

Russell Simmons is robbing the cradle again

Russell Simmons in Miami

Here’s some pictures of Russell Simmons and his girlfriend at the beach in Miami over the weekend. WENN says its Miss Universe 2011 Leila Lopes, but I think they’re wrong because it doesn’t really look like her. Plus, I don’t want to live in a world…

Russell Simmons has no chance

Katy Perry at the 20th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation’s Oscar Viewing Party held at West Hollywood Park

Russell Simmons — who, mind you, looks like a god damn space alien — thinks he actually has a shot with Katy Perry. Awww, how delusional. From the New York Daily News:

Prepare yourself for a controversial statement

Russell Simmons and his new girlfriend in Miami

I know this may be a controversial thing to say, but I think Russell Simmons girlfriend may be dating him, not for his looks, but for his money. I know, right? What an outrageous assumption on my part.

I hope this isn’t what I think it is

Russell Simmons in Miami

I really hope this is Russell Simmons teaching an underprivileged youth how to read and not him giving her his phone number. I mean, I know he’s rich, but doesn’t this girl have standards? Russell Simmons isn’t just ugly, he’s “creepy dude you’d see on the Megan’s…

Models are dumb

Russell Simmons and model Julie Henderson in Miami last year

The saddest thing about this story isn’t that Russell Simmons had a priceless piece of artwork destroyed — it’s that he throws parties and freaking supermodels show up. I don’t care how rich he is. The dude looks like E.T.’s retarded cousin.

Russell Simmons is obvious

Russell Simmons in Miami (2/5) Russell Simmons is obvious . . . and I don’t mean in the “he obviously looks like a god damn alien” kind of sense. I mean it’s pretty obvious what he’s trying to imply here. From the New York Post:Russell Simmons certainly comes prepared. While leaving the Haven 360 Oscar-week…

More of Russell and his girl

Bikini Pics /

Julie Henderson bikini pics! (10/5) Russell owns something incriminating on her, right? Like she hit and killed a homeless man when she was 19 and Russell has two minutes of security camera footage locked in his safe. I’m just trying to make sense of this relationship. Money can only take you so far when you’re…

What a stand up guy

Bikini Pics /

Russell Simmons in Miami (10/4) Sure I love making fun of celebrities, but from time to time I also like to recognize those that give back to the community. For example, here’s Russell Simmons in Miami on Sunday taking time from his busy schedule to teach an underprivileged youth how to read. Kudos to you…

That one whore won’t go away

Ashley Dupre at a nightclub in New York earlier this yearRemember Ashley Dupre? She was the hooker at the center (sometimes on the bottom, sometimes on top) of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal last year. Well she hasn’t gone away. In fact, music mogul Russell Simmons has taken a “special” interest in her. From Janet

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