CREDIT:
Lauren Silverman leaving her mom’s home in the Hamptons (8/1)
According to The Mirror, Simon Cowell only found out that Lauren Silverman was pregnant two weeks after he’d dumped her. And of course, she’s been married to Simon’s friend Andrew this whole time, so it should be pretty interesting when this kid Google’s his name in a few years — and by “interesting” I mean “horrible depressing.” A friend told the tabloid:
“The pregnancy has taken him by surprise. He assumed she was using birth control. Simon thought this was a casual relationship — friends with benefits. The pregnancy was not planned. He is feeling tricked.”
And another friend added: “He is excited about the baby and being a father and really will be as involved in the baby’s life as he possibly can be. He’ll support Lauren. But beyond that, everything else about the whole situation is very, very complicated and Simon is feeling in a real state and a bit down. The baby is great and exciting but it is the circumstances in which it has all happened. It’s not the way he would have wanted it to happen. He doesn’t know whether he has been set up or whether it is just one of those things.”
Hey, remember the good ol’ days of Celebslam when we covered cutesy stories like Heidi Klum’s love of big black dongs and J.Lo shaking her ample moneymaker ? Well those days are over and it’s onto serious shit now. Did Lauren Silverman on Simon Cowell? Yeah, probably. Does Simon deserve the next 18 years of misery that’s coming his way? Yeah, probably. This is karma’s way of resetting the Universe after a dick like Simon swooped in on his buddy’s chick. It’s not only a shitty thing to do to strangers, it’s the one rule that every culture agrees on: Thou shalt not splooge in thy neighbor’s married pussy, so let it be written, so let it be done, amen. Trust me, it’s in every holy manuscript ever written. Hell, L. Ron Hubbard even put it in the greatest sci fi book ever written on an acid trip: the Scientology bible.
[FameFlynet]